Jez Butterworth Plays Read online

  Paul Reynolds

  SKINNY

  Darren Tighe

  MICKEY

  Simon Kunz

  Characters

  in order of appearance

  SILVER JOHNNY, seventeen

  SWEETS, early twenties

  POTTS, early twenties

  BABY, twenties

  SKINNY, early twenties

  MICKEY, thirties

  Act One takes place upstairs at Ezra’s Atlantic in Dean Street, Soho, July 1958.

  Act Two takes place downstairs in the club and starts around 6 p.m. on the same day.

  ACT ONE

  Scene One

  Upstairs at the Atlantic. SILVER JOHNNY stands alone. We hear the drums, the thudding bass, the screams from the club below. SILVER JOHNNY does steps by himself, tight, menacing, explosive, like a boxer in the seconds before a fight. A low distorted voice announces the act, the girls scream, but he keeps them waiting. The music rises, faster, louder. It reaches its height, SILVER JOHNNY stands at the top of the steel staircase. When the moment comes, he vaults into the stairwell and vanishes, enveloped by sound.

  The drums pound on in the blackout. Suddenly they stop and the next second we are back upstairs at the Atlantic, after the show. SWEETS and POTTS are sitting at a table. There is a pot of tea on the table with three pretty cups, on a tray. The door to the back room is shut.

  SWEETS. Is that brewed?

  POTTS. Four minutes.

  SWEETS. You want a pill?

  POTTS. My piss is black.

  SWEETS. It’s the white ones. Don’t eat no more of the white ones. (Pause.) So where is he sitting?

  POTTS. Who?

  SWEETS. Mr Ross.

  POTTS. He’s on the couch.

  SWEETS. Right.

  POTTS. Mr Ross is on the couch.

  SWEETS. Good. How is he?

  POTTS. What?

  SWEETS. Good mood, bad mood, quiet, jolly, upfront, offhand. Paint me a picture.

  POTTS. Tan suit. No tie. Penny loafers. No tassle.

  SWEETS. Uh-huh. Right. Does he look flush?

  POTTS. He’s Mr Ross.

  SWEETS. Absolutely.

  POTTS. He’s a flush man.

  SWEETS. Naturally.

  POTTS. Ten-guinea Baltimore loafers. Suit sweat a year for you couldn’t buy. Shirt undone. Tanned like a darkie. Yes he looks flush.

  SWEETS. Ten-guinea Baltimores? Fuck me briefly.

  POTTS. Penny. No tassle.

  SWEETS. They’re talking about it aren’t they... (Pause.) Okay. Okay. So where’s Ezra?

  POTTS. Ezra’s at the desk, but he’s not in his chair. He’s round here to one side.

  SWEETS. The Mr Ross side or the miles-away side?

  POTTS. Round here to the side on the poochy stool.

  SWEETS. Poochy stool. Good.

  POTTS. Sit behind the desk it’s like I’m the man. Like I’m trying to big you out. Sit round the side on the poochy stool, Hey Presto, we’re all a circle.

  SWEETS. Okay. Okay. So where’s the kid?

  POTTS. Couch.

  SWEETS. Couch. Good.

  POTTS. On the couch with Mr Ross.

  SWEETS. Exactly. Let him see the merchandise.

  They sit there, waiting for the tea to brew.

  You know Beryl? She goes to me tonight, she goes, ‘When Silver Johnny sings the song my pussyhair stands up.’

  POTTS. Relax.

  SWEETS. I know. I know. Her pussyhair.

  POTTS. We just sit here.

  SWEETS. I know. Her fucking minge. Her fur. It stands up.

  POTTS. I see these girls. It’s voodoo. Shaking it like they hate it. Like they hate themselves for it.

  SWEETS. In the alley. ‘Get it out,’ she says. ‘Get it out I’ll play a tune on it...’

  POTTS. One day he’s asking his mum can he cross the road the next he’s got grown women queueing up to suck his winkle.

  SWEETS. Seventeen. Child.

  POTTS. These girls. They shit when he sings.

  SWEETS. Exactly. (Beat.) What?

  POTTS. Mickey knows. They shit. He seen it.

  SWEETS. They what?

  POTTS. It’s a sex act. It’s sexual.

  SWEETS. Hold it. Hold it. Stop. Wait. (Beat.) They shit?

  POTTS. All over.

  Beat.

  SWEETS. What does that mean?

  POTTS. Means they have no control in front of a shiny-suited child. Sad fucking world. The end. I’m going to use this as a rule for life: ‘Anything makes polite young ladies come their cocoa in public is worth taking a look at.’

  SWEETS. Good rule.

  POTTS. Great rule.

  SWEETS. There’s got to be rules and that’s a rule.

  POTTS. What time is it? Okay. Good. Sweets. Listen. (Beat.) When he announces it –

  SWEETS. Hey –

  POTTS. When Ezra –

  SWEETS. Hey. Hey –

  POTTS. If he takes you aside... (I know. I know. But listen) –

  SWEETS. Could be me could be you. Could be me could be you.

  POTTS. Exactly. I’m planning. I’m... listen. He takes you aside tells you takes me aside, it’s not important. For me there’s no difference.

  SWEETS. It’s exactly the same thing. Me or you. Exactly.

  POTTS. Exactly. Good. The important thing is whichever way it comes, when he announces it, when it happens, act ‘Surprised and Happy’.

  SWEETS. Surprised and Good. Good.

  POTTS. Happy and Good. Good. The end. That’s four minutes. (Stands and picks up the tea tray.) What?

  SWEETS. Absolutely. What? Nothing.

  POTTS. I’ll be straight back.

  SWEETS. Right. Good luck.

  POTTS. Relax.

  SWEETS. I am relaxed. I’m talking.

  POTTS takes the tea into the back room. He closes the door. SWEETS lights a cigarette. POTTS returns.

  So?

  POTTS. So what?

  SWEETS. So what happened?

  POTTS. Nothing.

  SWEETS. Right.

  POTTS. They’re drinking the tea.

  SWEETS. Right. Good. What about the Campari? Has the kid drunk his Campari?

  POTTS. He’s sipping it.

  SWEETS. Good.

  POTTS. It’s casual.

  SWEETS. Good sign.

  POTTS. You know? Loose.

  SWEETS. Excellent. Excellent sign.

  POTTS. Ezra’s still on the poochy stool. But he’s moved it. He’s tugged it over in snug next to Sam.

  SWEETS. Hold it. Hold it. Stop. Who?

  POTTS. What?

  SWEETS. You said Sam.

  POTTS. Indeed.

  SWEETS. Who’s Sam?

  POTTS. Mr Ross.

  SWEETS. Oh.

  POTTS. Sam is Mr Ross.

  SWEETS. Oh right.

  POTTS. Sam Ross. That’s his name.

  SWEETS. Since when?

  POTTS. Everyone calls him Sam. His mum named him Sam.

  SWEETS. Lah-di-dah.

  POTTS. Listen. Sam Ross is here next to Ezra he’s got his legs crossed and he’s letting his loafer hang off his foot like this. It’s bobbing there.

  SWEETS. Don’t.

  POTTS. Right next to Ezra’s leg.

  SWEETS. Stop.

  POTTS. Eyes wide like this. Both of ’em. Like long-lost puppies.

  SWEETS. Fuck me. They’re talking about it aren’t they.

  POTTS. And remember: Sam Ross came to us.

  SWEETS. He did. (Beat.) What’s the kid doing?

  POTTS. Nothing. Sitting in between looking pretty.

  SWEETS. Good.

  POTTS. He ain’t saying nothing. Just sitting there looking foxy.

  SWEETS. Good. The kid’s doing good.

  POTTS. He knows why he’s there. He’s paid to warble and look pretty. He ain’t paid to give it large in the back room.

  SWEETS. Has he got the jacket on?

  POTTS. Who?

  SWEETS. The kid. Has he got t
he Silver Jacket on?

  POTTS. He’s took it off. It’s on the table.

  SWEETS. Hang on. Hang on. He’s took it off?

  POTTS. It’s on the table.

  SWEETS. Hang on. Hang on. What the fuck is he doing?

  POTTS. What?

  SWEETS. What the fuck is going on?

  POTTS. What’s up?

  SWEETS. He’s supposed to wear the Silver Jacket. He’s Silver Johnny. Silver Johnny, Silver Jacket.

  POTTS. Sweets –

  SWEETS. Silver Johnny, Silver Suit. That’s the whole point.

  POTTS. I know.

  SWEETS. Ezra buys the Silver Jacket he should wear it.

  POTTS. It’s hot in there.

  SWEETS. I don’t give a fuck if it’s hot. Mr Ross deserves the full benefit. He’s not called Shirtsleeves Johnny is he. He was called Shirtsleeves Johnny it would be perfect.

  POTTS. It’s laid-back. It’s a jackets-off atmosphere. He’s right to take the jacket off. It’s good.

  SWEETS. I’m not happy. (Pause.) Has he got the trousers on?

  POTTS. What?

  SWEETS. Has he got the silver trousers on?

  POTTS. Of course he fucking has.

  SWEETS. Well that’s something.

  POTTS. Fuck do you think they’re doing in there? He’s gonna sit there in just his pants?

  SWEETS. I know. I’m just excited.

  POTTS. He’s got his trousers on.

  SWEETS. I know. Relax.

  POTTS. You relax.

  SWEETS. I am relaxed. I’m talking.

  POTTS. Exactly. (Pause.) Ezra done this. (Winks.)

  SWEETS. At you?

  POTTS. Ezra don’t forget. I mean who fucking discovered the kid? I did.

  SWEETS. Right.

  POTTS. Fact. One solid-gold forgotten fact. Ask Mickey. Up Camden. Luigi’s.

  SWEETS. Luigi who fucks dogs.

  POTTS. Yes. No. Luigi with the daughter. Parkway. With the Italian flag up behind the. The thing behind the.

  SWEETS. With the daughter. Does the liver and onions.

  POTTS. That’s him. I’m up doing all the Camden jukes. Three weeks running Luigi’s light on his pennies. Every machine in Parkway is pulling in eight nine quid a week, Luigi’s it’s one bag, two, three quid if you’re lucky. So I say stop having a chuckle, inky pinky blah blah blah you’re gonna get a kidney punched out.

  SWEETS. Only fucking language they speak.

  POTTS. So he’s gone, listen, he’s gone, ‘No one’s playing the juke.’

  SWEETS. Yeah right.

  POTTS. He says. Nobody’s playing it.

  SWEETS. Like we’re in Outer Russia.

  POTTS. Like it’s the Moon. Outer Russia. Exactly. He says they’re doing it themself. He says they’ve got a kid comes in here, gets up in the corner, does it himself. The fucking shake rattle roll himself. I mean. Camden kids?

  SWEETS. Micks.

  POTTS. Do me a favour.

  SWEETS. Micks and Paddies.

  POTTS. Do me a good clean turn.

  SWEETS. Micks and Paddies and wops who fuck dogs.

  POTTS. He says, ‘Come back tonight, you’ll see.’ So I come back tonight. And I take Ezra, Mickey we’re gonna scalp him take the rig back he’s told us a fib. (Pause.) Lo and behold.

  SWEETS. No.

  POTTS. In the corner, all the moves. Doing ‘Sixty Minute Man’. Everyone watching. In the corner. A child. (Pause.) That’s what happened. I’m not whining. I’m not bleating. You know, am I supposed to get back in the van start doing sums? ‘I want X-Y-Z. Twenty, thirty, forty per cent.’

  SWEETS. You’re not some fuckin’ vulture.

  POTTS. I’m not some fucking doorboy. I want what’s due. I want what’s fucking mine.

  Beat.

  Enter BABY. He stands there for a bit.

  BABY. Drinking wine spo-deeodee,

  Drinking wine spo-deeodee,

  Drinking wine spo-deeodee,

  Dancing on a Saturday night.

  POTTS. Oh watcha Baby...

  SWEETS. Watcha Babes. How you getting on?

  POTTS. How’s it going down there? Anyone left?

  BABY. Hello Sweets. What a night eh?

  SWEETS. Yeah...

  POTTS. How you feeling Babes?

  BABY. Well Sid, actually I feel great.

  POTTS. Yeah? You look awful.

  SWEETS. Go and put your feet up. You look like a corpse.

  BABY. Yeah. Well let’s play then. Bring a crate up, relax, few disks... Let’s get it started.

  POTTS. Yeah. Actually. We’ll get it started later...

  BABY. Oh. What’s up?

  POTTS. Nothing.

  SWEETS. Nothing at all. No. (Pause.) It’s just they’re having a bit of a meeting.

  POTTS. No they’re not.

  SWEETS. Exactly.

  BABY. What’s going on then?

  POTTS. Nothing. They’re just relaxing.

  BABY. What? In there?

  POTTS. Something like that. It’s nothing. Best keep the noise down.

  BABY. Say no more Sidney. (Laughs.) Ssshhh!

  SWEETS. Exactly. Sssh.

  BABY. Look at that. We forgot the cake.

  SWEETS. Yeah. That was my fault. I was supposed to take it down at the last song, pass it around. Completely forgot.

  BABY. Look at that cake. That is a brilliant cake. You better hide it Sweets. Or you’ll be in hot water.

  SWEETS. Yeah I will. I’m gonna hide it.

  BABY. Well. All right. I’m gonna go downstairs now.

  POTTS. Brilliant.

  BABY. Have a spruce-up drink.

  POTTS. Good idea.

  BABY. Just to spruce me up a bit. You want to join me?

  POTTS. Yeah. We’ll be right down.

  BABY. Sweets?

  SWEETS. Yeah. I’m gonna be straight down.

  BABY. All right. I’m going down now.

  POTTS. Okay. See you in a bit mate. Play a game later.

  BABY. Drinking wine spo-dee-o-dee. My piss is black.

  SWEETS. It’s the white ones. Don’t eat no more of the white ones.

  BABY. The white ones. (Laughs.) Spo-dee-o-dee. Sssshh!

  Exit BABY.

  SWEETS. Do you think he knows?

  POTTS. What do you think?

  SWEETS. Ezra wouldn’t tell him.

  POTTS. He couldn’t find the gents’ in this place without asking.

  SWEETS. Ezra wouldn’t tell him. Ezra wouldn’t trust him.

  POTTS. Ezra wouldn’t trust him to run a tub. He doesn’t know.

  SWEETS. If you don’t know you don’t know.

  POTTS. Good. Good. The end. Sweets. I heard ‘fifty-fifty’.

  Pause.

  SWEETS. Okay. Say that again.

  POTTS. I don’t know.

  SWEETS. Okay. Just that little last bit again.

  POTTS. I don’t know.

  SWEETS. You heard fifty-fifty. You said you heard fifty-fifty.

  POTTS. I don’t know. Don’t turn it into nothing. Don’t knit a blanket out of it.

  SWEETS. Okay. Stop. Sid. Think. Was it Sam? Did Sam say it?

  POTTS. Tricky. With the smoke, I’m pouring tea bent double I heard those words. That word. ‘Fifty.’ Twice. Fifty. Fifty. Five-O. And the single word ‘America’.

  They look at each other.

  SWEETS. Okay. Okay. Okay. All we know –

  POTTS. All we know is ‘Fish are jumping, and the cotton is high’.

  SWEETS. Fish are jumping. Precisely.

  POTTS. Good. The end. Talk about something else.

  SWEETS. Exactly. Good. Great night.

  POTTS. Great night. Exactly. We’re fucking made.

  SWEETS. My life makes sense.

  POTTS. Go upstairs see if there’s an angel pissing down the chimney.

  SWEETS. My whole fucking life makes sense. (Pause.) Hold it. Hold it. We’ve not been told.

  POTTS. Makes no difference.

  SWEETS. Have you been to
ld?

  POTTS. Have you been told?

  SWEETS. No.

  POTTS. Makes no difference. Go to the museum.

  SWEETS. Right. What?

  POTTS. Go down take a look at any picture Napoleon. Go take a butcher’s at the Emperor Half the World. And you’ll see it. You’ll see. They got a lot of blokes standing around. Doers. Finders. Advisors. Acquaintances. Watchers. An entourage.

  SWEETS. Big fuckers in fur boots. On the payroll.

  POTTS. Napoleon’s chums. And they’re all there. Sticking around. Having a natter. Cleaning rifles. Chatting to cherubs. Waiting. Waiting for the deal to come off.

  SWEETS. They weren’t there they wouldn’t have fuckin’ painted them.

  POTTS. Just ’cos now he’s got a big horse don’t mean he don’t need chums. He’s got big, they’ve put him on the big pony, his mates go – ‘Maybe Napoleon don’t want us around no more. Cramping him up. Holding him back.’ ’Cos one thing Sweets. They’ve put you in sealskin boots told you you’re Emperor, that’s when you need mates. ’Cos one day they’re gonna lift you back out, stand you in the snow watch your fucking toes drop off.

  SWEETS. Listen. Okay. All we know –

  POTTS. All we know is ‘Fish are jumping, and the cotton is high’.

  SWEETS. ‘Fish are jumping.’ Exactly.

  POTTS. ‘It’s a Nice Day’ and ‘Oh look the fish are jumping, and will you look how high that cotton’s got.’ Good. Good. The end. They’re going back to his.

  SWEETS. Tonight?

  POTTS. Billiards. They’re going to Sam’s house for billiards.

  SWEETS. Clover.

  POTTS. Knee-deep. Thrashing around in it. God spoke to me last night Sweets.

  SWEETS. Doesn’t surprise me an ounce.

  POTTS. God, said to me, ‘Do not be troubled Sidney for your ship is coming in. Yours is the racy big cock-shaped one over there going faster than the rest so just keep your mouth shut and wait.’

  SWEETS. Doesn’t surprise me an ounce.

  POTTS. He’s gone ‘Keep your mouth shut, unless your nose is in the trough, then open your mouth, and chew like fuck. That’s all there is chum.’

  SWEETS. You know what God said to me last night? He goes, ‘Sweets, There’s no God, do what you will, good luck, end of message.’

  POTTS. The way I see it it goes like this: Fuck God.

  SWEETS. Precisely. Fuck him on a cloud.

  POTTS. Fuck God if you know the king. Do you know what I mean? Fuck God if you only know someone knows someone knows the king. Because if you know someone knows someone knows the king, and you wait long enough sooner or later you’re gonna get a sweet taste of the king’s cock.